08 Jun Well, you bring up this idea of what feels comfortable

Tara McMullin: Yeah. And I think that was kind of where I wanted to go with a follow-up, which is, you have such a positive, vibrant life-giving persona and I think obviously genuine personality. I'm curious how you felt taking those initial steps to be more overt about speaking up for these things that you believe in that are hard conversations to talk about. And I wonder also, kind of in the same vein, how has that impacted or did it impact that brightness and vibrancy and positivity that is sort of part of your brand as well? Does that make sense?

Suz Chadwick: Yeah. I mean, I think that I did step back. Is like I was saying when I'm not confident with something I kind of step back and I listen, which I know that I've heard you talk about a lot as well so that I can confidently speak about things. So I didn't really understand a lot of the issues around Aboriginal rights here in Australia, I didn't understand a lot of the history. I've got an Aboriginal woman in one of my groups, and she's like a massive advocate. She does training on it so I was like on some of her training.

And then I was trying to work out how I was going to bring this to life in my business

Whilst I knew about the history, I didn't know a lot of the details about what's happening right now. It's kind of like all that happened when Australia was establishing itself and all the rest of it, but the issues that are happening now, I really didn't know. So for me, it was really hard. I felt like I wanted to step back. And so I was in that learning phase with that. And then I was in the hard discussions with my family. And so I probably did take like a week or two out, where I was just processing and going, okay, I need to educate myself, I need to be okay with the fact that I may not agree with my parents on this. But then I also need to make a decision about what action I'm going to take in the public arena.

And I'm okay with that, too

And like I said, within my business, we've been supporting some of these things for years, just never talked about it.

06 Jun You might even disagree with my view on dating strategy

I'm not trying to rub in that you said something that offended someone, or anything like that. But you had made a strong comment and said something you really seemed to believe. Then when challenged, though, you claimed that it was just a joke. You called it "humor." Maybe it was a humorous way of saying something, but it was also a point that you seemed to really be trying to make. posted by salvia at 1:25 PM on

This exchange has me wondering whether you are wrapping up too many things into the term "sense of humor," and whether you are thinking that the problem is different senses of humor when the real turn-off might be some of your beliefs and attitudes about women and/or relationships

Just so you have another opinion, that wouldn't put me off at all. Actually, if you said that to me, I'd be interested to hear the rest of the story. Hell, I have a "dead kitten in the freezer" story myself. posted by MexicanYenta at 8:00 PM on

Although honestly, okcupid's not so bad for finding those who like the dark side of life; just don't look too long at the profiles that don't interest you. Search for the ones that do.

I honestly think the matching system is pretty good, and if you answer enough questions honestly you'll match up well with people who share a similarly misanthropic outlook. I certainly have. Although this could be down to living in a major capital city - there are simply more people out there.